Feeling so sad

Just as a prerequisite to this post: My roommate happens to be one of my closest brothers left in this fucked up world. He's a 23 year old dude who has been supporting his parents for a long ass time now. Not cause his parents are lazy, they just happened to not be as blessed as the rest of our parents who can hear and speak. He's a hard working cat I met a while back and we've been like brothers since.

Anyway, for the past few weeks or so. Life's been hitting him hard and I was startin to notice some wrinkles and tears on his face. As the days went on, his mood just got worse n worse. I mean, we've all hit that "rock bottom" and it seems like the world is just tryna push us lower and lower. But I was 100% sure he would pull his ass through, come out on top.

Yesterday, the last thing he said to me was, "Eric, no matter what happens, I always got ya back." with a tone that was just so sincere and serious at the same time. I looked at his face, his eyes were emotionless. He was sitting there waiting for me to make eye contact, as if to make sure I truly understood what he was trying to say to me.
I said, "I know dude, I got yours too." He blinked slowly and looked away.

That was his last words to me. I came back home today and he was fuckking gone..
ALL his shit is still sitting in his closet and desk. I usually knock first, and I'm sorry if you're reading this right now bruh, but I was worried about ya. So I walked in and his shit was all folded and nice and he was fucking gone. He wasn't at work or at a friends or drunk somewhere or anything. Just... gone...

This house is way to quiet without him. I've been bumping De La Soul all day, so I can stall the loneliness. But damn..

That was my dude. That's my dude. And he's fucking gone.